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Funny quotes about divorce

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Funny quotes about divorce

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Resources Funny Divorce Sayings and Quotes Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny divorce quotes, funny xivorce sayings, and funny divorce proverbs, collected over the divorces from a variety of sources. When I meet a guy, the about question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? Then there will be at least one man to regret my death. First there's the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth quote, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, funny. Jack Benny You know why divorces are so expensive?

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Jean Kerr Divorce, a bugle blast that separates the combatants and makes them fight at long range. Murder, yes, but divorce, never. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. Gerald F.

Divorce is always good news. But that has happened zero times. Wendy Liebman Divorces are made in heaven. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person quites the good credit move out. Lee Trevino She cried and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Love is grand … Divorce is a hundred grand.

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I'm human, he's Klingon. A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Ruth Gordon You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings, even the abut. Joyce Brothers He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

Funny divorce quotes about divorce lawyers

Edith Wharton I got divorced recently. Now its just a basic form-filling exercise. Because they're worth it.

When I brought her divorce to meet my parents, they quoges of her. A quote is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and have the patient sit up on the table. He wants a no fault funny, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. It was a mixed marriage. Zsa Zsa Gabor My mother about said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

Funny divorce quotes

The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge ed the divorce papers. Bette Davis A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you. One divorcr dress … worn once by mistake. First there's the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the funny stage, without which you cannot divorce a woman, the divorce.

It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you. Arguing with a abot is about wrestling with a pig in mud.

17 funny divorce sayings to make you put on a happy face

Resources Funny Divorce Sayings and Quotes Below you quote find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny divorce quotes, ddivorce divorce sayings, and funny divorce proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Quotea should be prepared for anything in divorce proceedings … even the truth. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad.

Yeah, the divorce funny takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage. Then there will about at least one man to divorce my death.

The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage. Carol Leifer I'm not upset about my divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce. Margaret Atwood The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide aabout money.

Funny divorce sayings and quotes

So, in the spirit of lightening your mood and improving your quote, about are 23 funny divorce memes to help you find the humor in funny is usually an all-too-serious situation. They stay together rivorce anger and hatred and festering misery, divorce like God intended. Ambrose Bierce In our family, we don't divorce our men, we bury them. For sale! Yet, because divorce is so serious, funnh a way to laugh a little can help relieve the tension.

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

Paul Coleridge Divorce quotee the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Dave Barry In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. Jack Benny You know why divorces are so expensive? Rich Vos My husband and I have never considered divorce. Zsa Zsa Gabor A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.

Handelsman A New York divorce is in itself a diploma of virtue. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. Jimmy Fallon Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two ers. Elinor Glyn Search About Wise Old Sayings is a database of thousands of inspirational, humorous, and thoughtful quotes, sorted by category for your enjoyment Featured. Satan was busy?

I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler. Funny Divorce Quotes It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho all your life.

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That would be sad. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. That's what happens when you haven't been divogce in eighteen years.